Saturday, September 10, 2011

Garage Sale Tips

Okay folks. I don't consider myself a pro at it, but I sure know a thing or two about rummage sales. I've compiled a list of rules/tips you should follow when having a sale.

1. If you don't have enough items to cover two tables, don't bother. Just box it all up and take to a thrift store. Because when I'm driving down random streets to find the address listed on your sign and pull up to see 3 old VHS tapes, 4 old t-shirts and a dresser, I'm going to be pissed off.

2. On that note, just stop using the word "HUGE" when describing your sale. I have YET to see a sale that lives up to the hype on the sign. Unless your junk takes up a whole building (like fund raiser sales where tons of people donate and it's held at one location) chances are I will be disappointed. I hate seeing their HUGE sign advertising their HUGE sale and drive along all happy, pull up to the garage where I see a sale like in Rule #1, what a HUGE disappointment, you LIAR!

3. Signs! The signs are SO important! You HAVE to make them readable. It kills me when I pull up to a piece of cardboard about the size of a post-it, with the address written in pencil/cursive/smallest handwriting known to man. If I need a magnifying glass to see it while holding it, chances are I won't see it from my car while turning a corner. Here's a helpful list of what your sign should include:
-HUGE piece of cardboard.
-BLACK permanent marker
-LARGE handwriting
-VITAL information (address, time, date)
-DO NOT USE CURSIVE or shitty handwriting.
-Don't worry about making it pretty, nobody cares. As long as we can read it, that's all that matters.

4. To piggyback on that note, you have to use a good amount of signs. Don't put one on a corner and just think we'll figure it out from there. It's helpful to continue directing us as we drive. Tell us to keep going or turn. Because if people are like me, unless it's in your direct neighborhood, chances are you have no CLUE where you are or how to get to the address on the sign. Help me, help you. Kapiche?

5. I am horrified at the items people think to sell. Here are some items I do not think should be sold, ever.
-Toilet plunger. (I would normally think this is obvious, but I saw it at a sale today.)
-Undergarments. I'm sorry Martha, but I don't want your used underwear from 1987. Throw it away.
-Used cosmetics. Why, why, why do people set out their used lipbalms or eye shadows or whatever. Come onnnnnn. I don't know where you've been!
-Self-Help books. For anyone who has been to a rummage sale, these are in high supply. Nobody wants them. They ALWAYS end up in people's give-away pile. Just save yourself some trouble and use the pages to wrap presents or something because nobody wants your ridiculous self-help books.

Get it? Got it? Good.

1 comment:

  1. Oh god, the signs thing. Yes. We have tons of sales around here, but half the signs are totally illegible from anywhere past six inches from the damn thing. If you can't write nicely/legibly/thick enough/big enough, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT. Or buy stencils. And ffs, plan out what you're going to write and how BEFORE you start, so you aren't cramming the address in 1/4" high lettering in the bottom corner.